Relatives have a strange way of keeping track of what is happening in their family members’ lives. A few years ago I received a telephone call from my first cousin who was keen to find out if I had found someone interesting in my life. Being divorced and a single parent for almost six years, she probably thought I deserved a second chance at love. When she did not receive an answer in the affirmative, she narrated a story of some Indian woman who had moved to Australia, met an entrepreneur, had fallen in love with him and had moved on to a live-in relationship. She was dissuading me from marriage and persuading me to look for love in temporary relationships.
I think my first cousin who had my welfare at her heart had not viewed films like ‘The Stepfather’. In this wide world, when you meet someone it takes some time for us to figure out if the object of your affection has a criminal record or is a pedophile or has any other anti-social issues.
She probably did not know that a couple in a de facto relationship is eligible to determine financial settlements in the same way as married couples. So, a break-up would then lead me back to square one. The maxim ‘Appearances are deceptive’ must have slipped out of her mind. I mean, though there are plenty of fish in the sea who look robust outwardly in their late thirties or mid forties, the probability of finding one who is not HIV+ or a heart patient and does not have cancer or any other form of chronic illness or ailments becomes less.
On a humorous note, I finally figured out why it was very difficult for me to find someone who could sweep me off my feet. Firstly, I have a grey head on my not-so-green shoulders; secondly I am not eighteen or less to fall head over heels in love with someone blindly; thirdly, after several experiences in this male dominated society, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a partner who is selfless or someone who could sustain your interest for a longer period of time as most control freaks are caught off-guard in a short span. Eventually, even if I am fortunate to find some one flawless, I cannot guarantee that in a year’s time a small voice at the back of my head would not reiterate “you could have done better”. In other words, whether you are a male or a female, you will reach a point in your life when you will entertain the thought ”The grass is always greener on the other side.”
Since I am an ardent admirer of Epicurus, I am in consensus with the philosophy ”pleasure is the greatest good but of the restricted kind” and that ”mental pleasure is regarded more highly than physical, and the ultimate pleasure is to be free from anxiety and mental pain.” Who can deny the truth that variety is the spice of life? This gives rise to the ultimate question, ‘Why should I settle for one if I were to digress later?’