Car doors slammed. Late start to school. Wipers squeal in their incessant efforts to erase the raindrops collected on the windscreen. Chillness increased with the drizzle. Not removing my eyes form the road, my left hand reached out to turn on the radio and adjust the heating system in the vehicle. The familiar voices of Mike E and Emma on 96.One broke the silence in the car as my school going son occupying the seat next to the driver’s seat was lost in his preoccupations. Emma’s repeated queries to a caller caught my undivided attention. ‘You broke the relationship with you partner because she gained weight, right?’ He emphasized that he ended his relationship with his girlfriend as she was not investing effort in losing weight.
Being the vindictive woman that I am, I wondered if the caller had genuinely taken an effort in supporting his girlfriend to lose weight. Instead of choosing the path of accusation, I doubted if he had gone out of his comfort zones to suggest a few fast and effective ways to lose weight and I have not excluded the surgical options, most of which are expensive. If relationships worked on how picture perfect a couple looked, then all the celebrity couples should be in happy long-term relationships for one cannot deny that the men and women of the tinsel world are sexy, athletic, robust, energetic and beautiful people. Yet, why are we hardly surprised when we hear how short lived most of their relationships are? Even an unintelligent person like me, who ignore the dictates of wisdom every now and then, have worked out that a binding factor is essential for any relationship to work. By the way, I am working on listening to the dictates of my commonsense all the time, for this seems to be an area of weakness.
Every physically fit couple in a healthy conjugal relationship, defacto or married, would ascertain that the physical attraction that existed at the start of the relationship, which ignited their passion, does not last long. If couples continue to stay together despite the decline in magnetic attraction, the stark reality is that love has replaced lust and if the bonding is strong enough to withstand the test of time they have a good marriage going. While I agree that there is much pressure for people to be perceived as well built healthy couples or families by the paparazzi and social circles, happiness comes from compromises, understanding and sacrifices.
A man who did not consider it important to communicate his expectations of how physical beauty and appearance was everything to him at the start of the relationship was never a wise choice as he would not withstand the pressures associated with marital life. Once in a long term relationship, couples find themselves engulfed by innumerable obstacles and barriers that are challenging in nature such as children, relatives, employment, mortgages etc. A man who could terminate a relationship over a weight gain issue was never in love. It was a relationship of convenience. I find the gentleman to be an opportunist who is on the constant lookout for the best option and might not actually find one due to his inability to form a stable relationship or be in one.
Besides, there are many happy couples out there who look ill-matched to the critical eye but are enjoying life to the hilt as they are in a loving and productive relationship.
Having said that, I am not saying that it is okay to continue to be obese or unhealthy but happiness is not determined just by good looks. Being a rotund person myself, sometimes I feel like Komninos Zervos in his poem ‘eat’ -“I have burdened all your ears, but, you know, sometimes, just sometimes, I’d like to have a body like Richard Gere’s.” As I belong to the fairer sex, I would substitute Richard Gere with Miranda Kerr !