Hours of painful piercing cries were numbed by an epidural. Pushing became less agonizing and what seemed an impossible ordeal suddenly became possible. A life was brought into the world. Overwhelmed and exhausted, memories of collapsing flooded to my head. Before succumbing to fatigue, I caught a glimpse of the newborn with remnants of blood here and there on its tiny frail body. As I drifted into sleep, I heard his weak cry. I do not remember how long I had been comatose, however, when I regained consciousness, my little one was bathed and wrapped in clean white linen and even though he looked wrinkly I knew he would be a handsome young man one day with very long eye lashes. During the labor pain and the delivery, I had vowed to myself that I would never go through pregnancy ever again. Yet miraculously, his innocent smile and his expectant face, erased the agony instantaneously and I felt immense joy at being able to hold him close to my heart.
Now when I recall the emotions I experienced fifteen years ago, I realise that I did not know how challenging it would be to be a mother, especially of a teenager. Being a mother definitely is rewarding but it would be a lie if I painted only the rosy picture. There has been exasperating moments when patience threatened to leave my side and it was much easier to choose the insane options. Yet in his own strange , uncouth ways he expresses his love and affection for me. Since yesterday he has wished me ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ innumerable times. A failed marriage has not had a devastating effect on me because of his presence in my life. At times I wonder where his allegiance lies, but his preference to be with me says a story of its own. Well, at least I do not have to turn to cats and dogs for solace. And no matter what his choices would be in the future and no matter where he would be, he would always be my child and I would always be a mother who would wish the best for him and there would always be ‘us’ and the comfort in the knowledge that we have each other; in times of sorrow and in times of joy. It is not without reason that the umbilical cord is regarded as a cord of continuing connection between the mother and the child.
‘Happy Mother’s Day’ to all mothers out there!