I prefer to be hanged!

Wondering where this came from? This was the choice of John Proctor in the climatic scenes of Arthur Miller’s ‘The Crucible’ which is a manifestation of the Salem Witch Trials and Anti-communism or Red Scare movement and its impact on innocent civilians who were victimized without any proof.

Countless hours of silent and loud ranting and raving about unjust consequences meted out to me did not improve the precarious situation I found myself in and only made it worse. To think my spineless enemies, who were only a nameless voice and not concrete enough for me due to the absence of  their physical appearance and a relationship,  had resorted to deceitful means, lies and treachery to win the power game is unacceptable. No sugar-coated words could mask the sharpness of a vengeful razor’s edge.

A successful completion of an unfair reprimand period of twelve months fetched me another full-time permanent position as a teacher, which allowed me to teach lessons for Year 7, 9, 10 and 11 unsupervised, only to be intimidated and harassed by the insecure and threatened. No wonder I opted for resignation and early retirement I thought to myself. I turned to GLAM industry which though I enjoyed working for only a short period but was long enough to pursue further studies in this line.

However, a mandatory requirement and a brave move to acquire a security clearance left me in doubt about the mischief conspirators have caused without my knowledge. I asked myself, “What have I done?” for the words “supervised contact” to appear on a clearance check. I have not been a paedophile and have not breached any child protection laws. I have an ADVO in the name of my ex-partner and not in my name. I have always taken care of my son and not abused him in any way. Neither have I abused a child in any inappropriate way for a period of fifteen years for me to agree with the phrase “supervised contact” which, no doubt, I would be disputing with all the necessary documentation. My experiences make me wonder if I am living in a fascist society or a democratic one.  The choice of Ph. D topic ‘Existentialism’ seems to cling to me like a leech in my body, growing due to its bloodsucking tendencies and flourishing.            

To think I wasted precious years of my life in a wasted industry called ‘Education’, where the norm is misrepresentation of facts, kills me. It is a hard lesson to learn. I just dared to wonder what would have happened if I had not retired early and continue to be in the education industry. Unfair dismissal and a newspaper headline?

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